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Does She Really Stay Up at Night Thinking of Chores?

Blog entry by ReubenD posted 09-23-2014 02:04 PM 12818 reads 0 times favorited 24 comments Add to Favorites Watch

I have this list of things to be done around the house. Everything from spray the wasp nest on the back eaves of the garage to “let’s put skylight in the exercise room – it would be so nice to see the sky in there” whimsical things. I do not mind this list in general, as I like to do many of the things and many of the things are simply the typical chores associated with home ownership and maintenance. But seriously – how is it that the list never ever gets any shorter?

I have tried several times to make a real dent in the list, to pare it down to only a couple items maybe. It never happens. As soon as I feel like I am making progress it is suddenly and miraculously full again. New kitchens and bathrooms, done and ticked off, but install skylight and sand/refinish dining room floor added. It must take genuine work and creativity to keep coming up with the unending list of things.

I started to really seriously wonder if I had simply married the woman with the most critical eye in the world or if there was a plot about this honey-do list that all women take part in – perhaps as a ritual before the wedding during the bridal shower? Speaking with friends and colleagues it has become apparent I am not the only one that suffers from inability to reach the end of the list (and not from lack of effort and trying).

Does she stay up at night trying to think of new chores? I asked myself that question several times and then began to watch my wife carefully. At long last the answer was revealed. It is the internet to blame! In the evening as she sits in her chair she spends a few minutes on Facebook, and miraculously a couple new ideas (chores) appear. As she checks her email another link is clicked and a whole list of chores for the weekend appear.

After explaining this epiphany to my more aged and wise neighbor, proud of having discovered the root of my endless list of chores and why I could never catch up, I was given some additional information. He has been married 59 years, long before the internet existed, and it turns out has had the same endless battle of the never quite done “to do” list. It apparently is not the internet to blame; that is simply the more modern tool used so that my wife no longer loses sleep to add items to the list. We are back to a secret pre-nuptial pact as the only possible explanation.



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ReubenD

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24 comments so far

View bold1's profile

bold1

26 posts in 2266 days

posted 09-24-2014 02:49 PM

Woman’s mind simply work differently. We see a beginning and an end of each project. She sees the overall trend, one thing, leading to the next, in a never ending cycle. That’s why as you are concentrating on making love( the immediate project) she can look at the ceiling and say ” We really need to paint the ceiling in here” ( the long term cycle, one thing leading to another).

View Dan Lyke's profile

Dan Lyke

331 posts in 4382 days

posted 10-09-2014 02:08 PM

Yeah, we’ve been going through this process, trying to pare down the wishlist to manageable so I feel free to pursue the fun projects, not spend my life grinding on yet another freakin’ house project. Or, worse, the house projects out of order, the interior painting before the rewiring, which leads to more interior painting.

So I’m starting to say “not gonna happen” a lot more. We’re working through that…

-- Dan Lyke, Petaluma California, http://www.flutterby.net/

View dbray45's profile

dbray45

157 posts in 2177 days

posted 10-10-2014 11:39 AM

If the list goes away and she isn’t saying that she is very happy with it – you have a problem.

My wife now has the house looking the way she wants – 30 years later. There are still a whole bunch of things on the list AND she comes up with new things, sometimes late at night, sometimes waking me up. I tell her to write it down and we will discuss. Sometimes she finds something in a magazine and tells me she wants it. She knows it costs $6,000 but she also knows that I can make it for $400 and a whole bunch of time. I ask her where she will put it, she cuts the picture out, puts it in a binder, and tells me “next house!” This binder is now three 2” binders and the next house will be huge (nope, already have it, too small for all that) and besides, when I retire, I still won’t have the time to make all of it before I am 100.

The idea that she has the confidence in you to make it happen is more that a little significant – it is epic! Treasure this, it is so much better than her calling a contractor and getting quotes.

Oh, I do work my projects into the mix and I get new toys – oops – tools ‘damn spell checker’. These tools are a result in doing her projects. I choose them carefully and try to keep them well on the list of “this will make the job go faster, better, and cleaner – and more cost effectively.” Oh, and yes I do call contractors for quotes from time to time. It lets her know what my work is really worth and what I do will be what she wants – or think she wants.

-- Love woodworking and fixing most anything

View rayan's profile

rayan

2 posts in 1963 days

posted 11-17-2014 12:19 PM

Why don’t you try to explain your wife that you are not a handyman and you don’t have all the time in the word to fix everything in the house. Yes, women have an eye for the details, but some are a little too fastidious.

—Ryan http://www.jeyclean.co.uk/

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HippoCleaning

2 posts in 1236 days

posted 11-13-2016 01:26 PM

Yes, This is how women work. They also share information between them, so they can get you to do more things around the house. Worst thing? They usually eve know who they want to hire to do it. Who will do their bathroom renovation, their carpet cleaning, their furniture cleaning and everything else around the house.

-- James, Hippo Cleaning Services Ellicott City MD, http://www.carpetcleaningellicottcitymd.com/

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