A Bread Board made by a Blue collar Bread winner

Don’t know about you …...

but, this is how us blue collar crusty carpenters like makin bread boards.

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yes sir, you can use it… go ahead, slice somethin on it.

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You won’t find no mortised handmade miters, baltic bamboo butterflies or a slidin sassafrass slip fit.

No swirlin CNC strings or dizzy three D patterns, makin you have to sit down just from lookin at it.

No impossible inlays made from that bird eyed Buzinga, spalted spruce or quilted cocabola.

No loopy live edges or turquoise filled tunnels that look like green fungi laced granola.

No ivory or bony inlays or that burly butcher block end grain, always warpin and crackin and shit.

No usin nine different wood species from seven different continents, then spazzin out when GOP Gibson does it.

No woodworkin website threads with replies from 159 white collar, auto pencil pushin, Roubo bench bangin,

Festool fetish rubbin, Gold member Guild geeks,.... goin frickin insane,

”How do I cut a perfectly square 2×2” bread board block with my Lee Nielsen #1 hand plane?”

No exotic wood store excursions, hand selectin crotched, quilted and quarter sawn grains

.... no one else will ever see.

No spendin 289.50 for a pile a wood you can carry in one hand, five exotic wood fillers,

.... and a How To DVD.

No Sir,

Ain’t no reason wastin good cutoffs like a 1×8 piece a maple from drawers

I’m makin for a good payin project..

Ain’t no sense in wastin daylight makin a Bread Board so nice,

nobody would ever want to cut nuttin on it.

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Ain’t no need spendin money makin wall hangin wood art,

ya can’t even cut up a tomato on,.... for fear a rinsin it.

Ain’t no way runnin it through the power planer

and gettin a nice clean cuttin surface on it!

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No sir, makes no common sense at all,
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always figured cut offs were for bread cuttin.

what do I know….. nuttin makes sense no more, ..... nuttin.

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-- mark - Grayslake IL.